Reflecting on my toxic relationship with Instagram one year later.
I've healed. Now send your recommendations on who to follow.
Good morning. How are things?
This week, I’ve been thinking about social media and how I interact with it. You see, Instagram and I’s relationship has had many iterations over the years but I’d suggest that it’s currently as healthy as it could be, you know, for an app designed to intrusively keep your attention 24/7. The fact is, our relationship is remarkably better than it used to be and that’s something that deserves a small round of applause… Thanks.
This time last year, Instagram consumed my attention 90% of the time. Screen limits and all. When I wasn’t on Instagram, I was thinking about it. I was anxiously attached and I wish that was an exaggeration but Instagram was not a means of consumption for me, it was a dating app that’s sole function was my close friends story; filled to the brim with thirsty pics of myself for people I wanted to respond to me.
Looking back, it was a little fucked. I’d learned so well the exact images that would entice the right people to respond. I knew that one angle would guarantee a response from my on-again-off-again fling, another from my international crush. But the trouble is, it wouldn’t always work and to my great surprise, their responses did not always elicit the joy I’d hoped for. So I turned off notifications in the hopes that I’d be able to get on with my day without being interrupted by notifications of tens of people telling me how hot I was… and that didn’t help. It just meant that I’d click into Instagram hundreds of times a day to empty DMs. Ouch.
This went on for months and I really hated it, but that didn’t outweigh the serotonin I felt when a selfie got its desired response, so I went on with my unhealthy habit until I landed myself a relationship that meant I wasn’t constantly seeking external validation and yeah, I’m not really healed am I? It’s just a band-aid! But nonetheless, social media means less and less to me nowadays.
Now, here enters my problem.
Social media no longer makes me feel this weird mix of anxiety, guilt, and elation which is great, but I’m still a tad dependent on it. Not nearly as much as I used to be, actually, I’ve only spent 1 hour and 20 minutes on TikTok this week and anyone who uses TikTok will understand how impressive that is.
But because I’m not ready to give up social media fully just yet (or likely ever), my focus has shifted to following ‘value-add’ accounts.
I’ve noticed recently, that social media is not always a negative place. There are strangers I’ve connected with on social media that are now friends. I’ve learned countless interesting things and had even more great conversations.
We CAN use it for good and I really love it for that! I want more, so I have a question: who is your favourite person to follow on Instagram?
I’m not particularly interested in following the beautiful, fair-skinned yet somehow ridiculously tanned aspirational Instagram girl of 2016 (all power to them). I want to find more intellectual, intriguing women from different backgrounds with different stories and niche interests.
It makes me so HAPPY to learn new things. Hear new perspectives. I’m excited just thinking about it (!!!)
SO, please share a recommendation of who I should follow. You can do that in the comments, or just reply to this email. I don’t mind!! But first, one for you:
One of my friends, El Katelaris is a genuine joy to follow. She’s vulnerable with sharing what’s going on in her life but she also shares delicious recipes, book recommendations, advice, and anything else you might want to know. I’m not just saying this bc she’s my friend. She’s great.
Now u:
Some other thoughts/feelings/updates/reccos:
I started a new job last week. I love it. I’ll probably write about it more soon, but for now, all you need to know is that things are good and I’m feeling so peaceful and happy. Yay!! ☺️
I really want to buy some chunky dad sneakers. My options include these New Balance ones ??
Or maybe these ones from VEJA? But probably not because they’re $110 more expensive and I’m not that keen.
And a recommendation: I’ve been cooking as a means of stress relief recently and wow it’s so delightful to spend some time preparing a meal for yourself that is NOT a can of tuna and a microwave rice cup. At the moment my go-to Sunday night recipe is a frittata + salad which is great because it’s very easy to adapt for the veggies/add-ins you like and it also lasts for a few lunches. I add lots of butternut pumpkin, bacon, capsicum, peas, and broccoli among any other delicious things I find in my crisper. (is that what it’s called? The bottom draw of a fridge?? Eh.)
Okay! That’s me for the week. And on a Thursday? Five stars if I do say so myself.
Catch ya next time 😼